Despite the legalization of same-sex marriages in 2015, there are clear signs we’ve not reached true equality.
June was first established as Pride Month in 1999 by President Bill Clinton. His presidential proclamation named June Gay and Lesbian Pride Month. In the text of the proclamation were Clinton’s wishes for continued peace, love and acceptance. It said, “I hope that in this new millennium we will continue to break down the walls of fear and prejudice and work to build a bridge to understanding and tolerance, until gays and lesbians are afforded the same rights and responsibilities as all Americans.”
And as the years passed, we did make progress. Mostly during democratic administrations. Following Clinton, George W. Bush navigated his 8 years in the office with his signature compassionate conservatism approach on the topic, which was sort of helpful, sort of not. During his tenure in the White House, President Obama renamed June National Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Pride Month, further recognizing the need for inclusivity. And after 4 years of Trumpism, President Biden moved the ball a step further, firmly supporting Pride Month each year and including Queers in the growing acronym.
With the second Trump administration doing seemingly everything they can to rebuild the walls of fear and prejudice, it falls on ordinary citizens to carry the torch.
2025 marks the 10 year anniversary of the Supreme Court decision that made same-sex marriage legal across the country. In the case ‘Obergefell v. Hodges’, the court voted 5-4 to rule that the fundamental right to marry is guaranteed to same-sex couples by both the Due Process Clause and the Equal Protection Clause of the Fourteenth Amendment of the Constitution.
Writing for the majority Justice Anthony Kennedy wrote that same-sex couples “ask for equal dignity in the eyes of the law. The Constitution grants them that right.”
10 years later, a recent survey shows that Clinton’s hopes for understanding, and tolerance are manifesting, and acceptance is growing, but one group, transgenders, is facing steeper resistance towards equality than others. This is true even within their own families, with just 58% of transgender adults saying that all of their siblings have supported them. That’s compared to 74% of gay and lesbian adults, and 65% of bisexual adults.
At Cactus Collective we are more than happy to fill the gaps where their families and society are falling short. Every couple, and I mean every couple, who wants to get married in one of our adventurous and intimate micro weddings or elopement ceremonies is welcomed with open arms. No questions asked.
With another Pride Month upon us, I’m taking time to reflect. I’m thinking about marriage equality, about Cactus Collective Weddings as an inclusive company, and about what more we could be doing to better ourselves and help move the wedding industry towards true equality.
First, I need to acknowledge that I’m coming at this from the position of a straight white woman. A straight white woman whose brother is gay and who was brought up to be open-minded.
Supporting marriage equality and making sure my business is inclusive means doing more to educate myself. As many allies have learned, the best way for society to improve is to do it together. We should all work to better ourselves, and to push for true equality. Those outside the immediate community need to take responsibility for their own education to support the cause.
What does that look like for me, as a vendor in the wedding industry? Well, it started with signing up for an LGBTQ+ wedding seminar run by The Equality Institute. One of my biggest anxieties was unintentionally offending someone by saying the wrong thing, and I wanted to know what I didn’t know.
The seminar showed me how little I knew and started filling in some of the gaps as I started understanding the importance of using inclusive language and being sensitive to people’s needs.
The biggest take away for me was learning to just ask. If there’s something you’re not sure about — how people want to be pronounced, their family dynamic, even how they want to be posed for photos on their wedding day — then rather than assuming, the best way to learn what’s right is to just ask.
After the course, I took more notice of who was booking with us. Because if you’ve explored the CCW site, you’ve probably noticed we focus on coordinating weddings at stunning desert locations, but the outdoor recreation scene is a very white, heteronormative place.
It’s a discussion I’ve been following for a few years and one that needs to change. People need to know these beautiful locations are open to them. It’s not just for a certain demographic. Everyone should be able to enjoy the great outdoors.
At the heart of this discussion is the fact that we’re still battling against long-standing stigma and discrimination. That may be an obvious thing to say, but lingering inequality is why we have to make it glaringly obvious that we support marriage equality.
It’s why we include photos of LGBTQ+ couples on our website and why we’ve registered with directories dedicated to inclusive weddings. It’s important to be a supportive ally during June, but we don’t stop when the calendar flips to July. We can never stop learning and can never let the discussion wane or the progress come to a halt.
When someone asks, “Do you do LGBTQ+ weddings?” Our answer is always “Yes!” You love who you love and you’re more than welcome to plan your fabulous micro wedding or elopement with Cactus Collective Weddings.
