You knew the first time you saw it. You found the perfect place for your ceremony.
It has everything you need, except the most important thing — your wedding date isn’t available.
At this point, many couples would look at changing the date to secure their dream venue.
However, if your dates aren’t flexible or the venue’s available dates are over a year from now, it’s not always possible to change the date.
What do you do?!
You have a few options.
You can extend your engagement to get the venue you want or you can look for different venues that meet your timeline.
You can also scrap the whole wedding planning thing and elope.
Let’s explore what’s right for you.
How Long Should You Be Engaged?
There is no set engagement timeline for success. However, most people in the US are engaged for 1–2 years.
This gives couples enough time to plan the wedding and their lives together without rushing or dragging it out.
If you’re comfortable with a longer engagement, then pushing the wedding back until you secure your wedding is fine.
However, if you are looking to marry quickly because you need marriage benefits, this may not be an available option.
It may be time to start looking at other venues.
Deciding What’s Right For You
Deciding whether or not to lengthen your engagement is a personal choice.
There’s no real way to determine for sure what is right — there’s only what is right for you.
However, there are some things you can do to help you make this decision:
1. Make a Pros and Cons List
Grab a sheet of paper and a pen or your notes app.
Start listing all the pros of kicking back your wedding. Pros include things like:
- You’ll have the wedding venue of your dreams.
- Extending the engagement offers more time to plan the wedding.
- Booking weddings vendors in advance can lead to big savings.
Then list out the cons of waiting on your dream venue. Cons include things like:
- You’ll have to find another venue for your ceremony.
- You and your partner will have to wait to start your lives as a married couple together.
- Moving the day may make it harder for some people to attend.
Listing out the pros and cons list often helps determine a clear choice. However, if you’re still stuck, you can try to speak with your closest loved ones.
2. Consult with Family and Friends
Family and friends are an integral part of a commitment ceremony.
When we join together in a lifelong commitment, we want the most important people in our lives in attendance.
Talk to the people you most want there to see what they think.
Maybe they can only attend on the date you picked, or maybe pushing the wedding out a bit makes it easier for them to come.
If you know how your decision will impact the people you love, it will make your decision easier.
3. Consider Alternative Venues
Ever get an idea stuck in your head and you are so sure that it is the right way — until you see another option?
Before making a decision, take a look at what’s out there.
There are not just other venues, there are also other types of ceremonies.
At Cactus Collective Weddings, we specialize in stress-free elopements and micro weddings at some of the most beautiful destinations in Las Vegas, San Diego and The Black Hills.
The venue you picked out is for sure a dream, but there can be more than one dream venue for you out there.
One of these might actually be more a dream than the venue you originally landed on.
Don’t feel like you have to limit yourself in any way. It’s your day, and it can be whatever you want.
4. Use A Weighted Decision Matrix
Another option is to try a weighted decision matrix.
A weighted decision matrix is like a super-powered pros and cons list.
You take all of your pros and cons and then rank them in order of value.
For example, if a pro on your list is “grandma can attend,” that weighs higher than say “venue offers free corkage.”
By weighing all your pros and cons, you can then really determine what is the best option for you and your partner.
Whether you decide to wait for the venue or find a new one, what matters most is you do what is right for you as a couple.
If you want to consider some alternatives, take a look at some of our breathtaking venues.
We also have some resources below to help you get started planning your wedding.
Feel free to ask us any questions — we’re always here to help!
5 Things to Do After Getting Engaged
