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When you’re in love, everything just feels “right” you know?
Even crazy things feel meant to be, like hearing wedding bells when you’ve only been together a few weeks.
There’s no arguing with our hearts. When it is right, it is right. However, our heads will always look out for our hearts and they want to make sure that the love we’ve found lasts forever.
We don’t want to create any unnecessary pressure by rushing down the aisle too early or taking too long to make this commitment, so this leaves us wondering how long to date before marriage.
Is there an ideal amount of time to date to set your marriage up for success?
Throughout this article, you’ll find responses from our Instagram followers about how long they dated before marriage!
What Is the Ideal Amount of Time Before Getting Married?
Whether you and your partner have been together for a month or a few years, you may be wondering about the ideal amount of time to get married.
We know that relationships can end if the marriage is rushed, just like if the couple waits too long. So is there an exact length that will increase the chance of the marriage being a success?
Unfortunately, there’s no perfect answer.
Some couples that eloped shortly after meeting are still going strong — just take a look at Justin and Hailey Bieber.
Everyone was shocked that they married after just a few short weeks but here they are still going strong.
On the other hand, some couples have dated for years and still end up divorced.
Hank Azaria and Helen Hunt dated for five years before getting hitched but their marriage lasted less than one year.
So how long to date depends entirely on you, your partner and your unique story.
What Do the Experts Recommend?
Most experts recommend waiting six months to two years, while the average length of dating ranges from 2 to 5 years.
They recommend this length of time for several reasons.
First, it’s long enough for the “honeymoon phase” of the dating relationship to wear off.
Oftentimes, in the beginning, we get so swept up in our loving feelings for someone, we don’t look at the day-to-day of being together.
We all remember what happened with Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries when they married during their honeymoon phase.
It did not end well for either of them.
Secondly, this allows couples enough time to make important decisions, like where you two will live or how many children, if any, you’d like to have.
Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston were together for seven years before they ended things because Brad wanted children and Jennifer did not.
Cleary, it’s really important to have these conversations before you get married or you could end up heartbroken.
Finally, it’s enough time to seriously start getting to know each other on the most intimate levels.
In that time, you can make sure that you’re a match based on your personal values and what you really want from life.
Jenna Dewan and Channing Tatum had a shocking breakup after nine years because of fundamental differences in values.
Make sure you just take the time to truly know one another before saying your nuptials.
Unfortunately, there is no perfect dating formula. Even the experts agree every couple is unique.
The right amount of time for one will be completely different for another. You just have to figure out what is right for you.
What Should We Consider to Determine the Right Time Frame for Us?
Since every couple is different, there are things every duo should consider before you exchange rings. These considerations include:
- How do we handle conflict with another?
- How do we external stressors together?
- Do we share the same values and goals in life?
- How well do we communicate with one another?
- Do we share the same views on intimacy?
You should also really ask yourselves: Do you want to get married? Or do you feel like you’re supposed to get married?
Pressures from family and friends, though well-meaning, can rush couples down the aisle before they are ready.
The best thing you can do to determine how long to date before marriage is to have some frank, open and honest conversations with your partner.
There’s no perfect dating timeline for a successful marriage, so how long to date is completely up to you and your partner.
Just take the time to have all the important discussions with your partner. Your heart and your head will tell you together when it’s time.
McKenzi Taylor is America’s go-to elopement and micro wedding expert, often featured in small and major media outlets, such as the New York Times. With over 15 years of wedding photography experience, it was after planning her own Las Vegas elopement in 2016 that McKenzi felt her purpose shift into elopement coordination. She started Cactus Collective Weddings soon after in 2017. Since then, she’s become a WIPA board member, and has helped well over 1000 couples get hitched in style around Las Vegas, San Diego and Black Hills.