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Originally published by The Big Wedding Planning Podcast

With so many amazing guests on their way for upcoming shows we wanted to take moment and host a learning episode! On today’s show we break down the whole topic of Save The Dates and get into the details. In light of having to reschedule, and communicate much more with your wedding guests, we know the topic is on a lot of people’s minds.

Big Takeaways
When you should send them:

  • Destination weddings
  • Just moved and having the wedding away from old friends
  • Classic advice says send them out to every guest as soon as you pick your date
  • Include the dates, and maybe the town (or venue if you’ve locked it down), there is no other information needed.
  • Keep it simple.
  • Send between 12-16 weeks before wedding.
  • Invitations 8-10 weeks.
  • Do not send Save The Dates to your B-List!! They aren’t a necessary element of your wedding planning.
  • If you are having a weekday wedding, add the day of the week on the Save The Date. It helps so they know they need to take time off.
  • Even if your wedding website isn’t complete, still put it on the Save The Date. It can grow as you book and change things. It’s a great reference for your guests to have. Even if it says “information coming soon.”


Q. Do you need to send “re-save the dates” for coronavirus couples who postponed?

A.No, you do not need to. If you are type-A, you probably have everyone’s email. Just send them an email. Don’t waste the money if you don’t have to. If you haven’t sent them yet, you can add an insert, so they aren’t wasted.

Q. Is it insensitive to send STDs in the middle of a global pandemic? (This is for a later wedding.)

A. No, we don’t think it’s insensitive. If anything it’s a nice reminder that the future will come eventually. It’s something to look forward to.

Q. Can you touch on “change the dates”? And if it’s tacky to add a new RSVP in it? I don’t want to go full-blown invitation again.

A. If you don’t want to do another full invitation, just make a card that tells the website for all the info. No need to do another invitation. Get the info out. Whatever works for your and your guests.

Q. We sent a Save The Date, but now we want to postpone. We printed our official invites. Thoughts on sending with an X on the date with a TBD?

A. That’s a great idea! It’s okay to do what you need to do. And adding a little humor to it is great.

Q. Is it ever okay to send Save The Dates to some but not all your guests? As in the people you really want there who would need to travel but not to the ones you’re hoping will say no.

A. If you send someone a Save The Date you have to send them an invitation. If you don’t send a Save The Date, you can still send an invitation. Keep track on your spreadsheet!

Q. Can we put extra information on the Save The Date and not use our website or would it look too busy? For example, since we have a lot of out-of-state guests, we’d like to mention that it’s a kids-free wedding and want the Save The Dates to state that so they have time to find childcare? Or should we just put that information on the website and hope they figure it out?

A. If you’re really worried about it, then it’s definitely okay to put it on there. “We look forward to celebrating with you at this adults-only event.” If you’re worried someone will claim ignorance, then make it black and white. If you think people will check out the website and take it to heart, then don’t do it! But communication can be powerful!

Q. When you send save the dates with a link to your wedding website, what info should you have on your wedding website? I just have photos and travel info. Should I include FAQs? Is it worth including wedding weekend events if times aren’t set in stone yet?

A. Yes, include the website. Even if you only have very basic info, that’s okay! As you go, put more information up. FAQs are great and cute, but they don’t have to be included. You can put the events with a TBD on time.

Q. I’m still creating my save the dates, but I’m not sure what would be the best option. I like the
idea of a video invitation for my modern savvy friends and family and paper invitations for our grandparents, parents and older folks. Should I just do one method because I may be spending too much time thinking about this or is mixing it up worth it? Is mixing it up something common and doable?

A. If you’re a person that knows how to do that, they’re so cute and fun and a great way to get information out. However, grandma might not get it. For an older, less tech-savvy person, you can send them a postcard or a handwritten letter. It’s fine to do both as long as you have the capacity to!

“Inevitably, what seems like a simple task, all of you are probably now learning in your wedding planning experience, it’s actually broken down into several steps and many questions and pending answers, and that is why we wedding planners are in business.” – Michelle

“We’ve had to very much consider what is “essential” in this world. What are the essential groceries you need? What are the essential jobs?… Weddings are not considered essential.” – Christy

“You just can’t make a decision until you absolutely have to.” – Christy

Hand picked related article:
What Are The Best Wedding Dates For A 2021-2024 Ceremony?

McKenzi Taylor
McKenzi Taylor

McKenzi Taylor is America’s go-to elopement and micro wedding expert, often featured in small and major media outlets, such as the New York Times. With over 15 years of wedding photography experience, it was after planning her own Las Vegas elopement in 2016 that McKenzi felt her purpose shift into elopement coordination. She started Cactus Collective Weddings soon after in 2017. Since then, she’s become a WIPA board member, and has helped well over 1000 couples get hitched in style around Las Vegas, San Diego and Black Hills.